Sleeping with your lover or wife is a “sacred” act in the eyes of many people. There are those who have never even thought about sleeping separately and see it as a problematic relationship. Some people prefer solitude simply because they want a better night’s sleep.
Professor Meir Kryger of the Yale School of Medicine says, “There are many factors that affect the quality of your sleep each night. The environment in which you sleep is the most important element. On the other hand, who is sleeping next to you and how well you sleep together is also very important.
Many people around the world struggle with sleep issues such as night terrors, sleepwalking, sleep apnea, going to the bathroom late at night. At the same time, the person may frequently change their sleeping position while sleeping, pull the quilt over themselves, or have a different sleep schedule.
If your bed mate has the above issues or even just one of them, it often becomes difficult for you to sleep well.
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This kind of bedroom mismatch can cause some couples to sleep separately. Sex counselor Eric Marlowe Garrison said, “I have met thousands of couples who have bed mate issues. “I have found that sleeping separately helps strengthen the bond between many couples,” she says.
SLEEPING SEPARATELY CAN IMPROVE YOUR RELATIONSHIP
“Consider all the emotional and physical benefits of sleep,” says Garrison. In order to have a romantic relationship, people need to feel healthy in all ways. While sleeping separately makes you a happier person, not seeing co-sleeping as a responsibility becomes beneficial in every way.
Psychologist Joseph Cilona agrees. Speaking about how sleep deprivation can have devastating physical and emotional effects, Cilona said, “Choosing to sleep separately can often minimize or eliminate sleep problems altogether. On the other hand, it can save and improve your relationship.
A study from the University of California claims that insufficient sleep can lead to conflict in relationships. A study conducted at Paracelsus Private Medical University concluded that lack of sleep and relationship problems often go hand in hand.
AFFECTS SEXUAL LIFE
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Garrison says couples who sleep separately can improve sex life beyond quality sleep. What ? Garrison explains:
“A bed always only serves two things; sleep and sex. One of the two must happen when you go to bed. A good night’s sleep also reduces stress. You know stress is the enemy of sex. “
Behavioral and social scientist Wendy Troxel takes a different point of view. She says couples who sleep separately like each other better: “Spending the night apart and getting back together in the morning can be refreshing for the relationship.”
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A THIRD OF THE COUPLES WANT TO SLEEP SEPARATELY
While most couples still sleep together, a recent survey of more than 12,000 adults in the United States found that only two-thirds of Americans want to share a bed with their partner, and one-third want to sleep separately.
On the other hand, one party may want to sleep together and the other separately. If the choice to sleep separately is not mutual or is not accepted by both people, it can cause problems in the relationship.
Wendy Troxel says: “The main disadvantage of sleeping separately is the possibility that there may be a loss of privacy, which can lead to a feeling of disconnection. That’s why I often stress to couples that it’s not the sleep pattern itself that matters, but how the decision is made. “
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Experts agree that anyone who wants to sleep separately from their partner should approach the possibility of different sleep arrangements with love, respect and understanding.
“TOTALLY NORMAL TO DISCUSS SLEEPING SEPARATELY”
Research on the issue of couples sleeping separately suggests that relationships and sex life may improve. We put this research and our questions on the subject to expert clinical psychologist Mr. Berk Karaoğlu.
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Karaoğlu says that it is quite normal to discuss the concept of sleeping in a separate bed in terms of sleep and sex life these days, when it is now possible to discuss staying in separate houses between couples and even in marriage.
“Of course, while the benefits of sharing while sleeping may vary with each couple, it may be more meaningful for couples who may have differences such as temperature sensitivity, snoring, positioning, etc. during sleep. sleep, to sleep in a separate bed so that it does not affect the depth of sleep, “Karaoğlu also explains the effect of sleep on relationships as follows:
“If we consider that relationships include things like communication, patience, tolerance, and sharing, and sleep affects those things, of course, a lack of sleep can have negative effects on relationships as well.”
“SLEEPING SEPARATELY MAY PROVIDE SEXUAL SATISFACTION”
Studies show that couples who sleep separately experience improvement and development in their sex life. Berk Karaoğlu also confirms the research results: “Although this situation may vary with each couple, sleep is actually a state of rest period with notions of peace and trust. Sleeping separately can also make sex more satisfying, as sex is a process that activates the opposite arousal, lust, passion, that is, the sympathetic nervous system.
Psychologist Karaoğlu, who states that “dividing the bed into one place for sleep or sexual activity, separating the concepts of sleep and sexuality, can keep couples in a more specific and clearer process,” explains:
“Because everyone can be in their most natural state while sleeping, situations such as the sexual body, communication language, approach, positioning, being more groomed can be different and make them more sexually active. . “
WHAT SHOULD COUPLES DO IF ONE PARTY WANTS TO SLEEP SEPARATELY TOGETHER?
In relationships, both parties may not always want the same things. This can also apply to a separate sleeping area. So what to do then?
Berk Karaoğlu said: “Of course, talking about it in advance and understanding this situation with love, trust, respect, etc. It should be emphasized that it can be applied in order to make sleep and sexuality more specific, and no from such problems ”, and adds:
“Because this can be an unusual practice, one of the couples may think that they are not loved, loved or wanted. In order not to trigger all of these negative thoughts, it is important that every detail is discussed and clearly. indicated in which direction are the feelings.